What if she had told me she loved her body? It's worth noting that the numbers weren't exact, and a lot of people have never had a shameful sexual experience, but for those who did, whose shame so closely reflects the fantasies of the majority, ain't that a little weird? Would I have not felt deep shame and embarrassment in front of my father, and thus all other males thereafter, for what I was? That's both brilliant and terrible. I only got answers from 90 people and I was drunk during my stats class, so I'm not making any definitive claims, just some observations. Would I have still felt like damaged goods? This whole paragraph is either extremely sexy to you or borderline nauseating. This includes shame for any reason, not just sexual shame.
Why, in the realm of a sexual encounter, are we turned on by things that later we feel shame about? Finally, there is the superego, consisting of the learned and internalized social standards of behavior received from parents and others, including an understanding of banned or punishable behaviors. Just as women are aroused by domination but have had shameful real-life experiences with it, men enjoy the fantasy of another woman, but being with another woman is also a pretty shameful thing, at least if it's done in an illicit manner. I'm sure that some of the memories I have of things they said to me were just random, passing thoughts they stated out loud without much thought, never thinking those words would affect me the way they did. Power over the opposite gender is used to bolster male low self-esteem and deeply denied shame. These transgressions need not be actual behaviors, such as participation in banned sexual activities. They are so much more than what their bodies offer, but they aren't. I've been thinking recently, what if this or that memory had never happened? Hard porn is often the basis for male sex education. They have to hide their feelings and natural instincts. They are the hurtful whispers in my head when I'm standing in front of the mirror naked before a shower. Sex can become addictive, since there is short term pleasure, but the emptiness is never filled. Or what if they had just told me how to have sex safely and left the condemning analogies and personal beliefs at the door? Why did I not always crave a relationship? Pornography and the End of Masculinity. Over half of the shameful experiences women told me about could be categorized that way, even though within those confines they ranged from "having sex with a guy in exchange for drugs" to "my boyfriend telling me I didn't really love him if I didn't participate in a threesome with another girl. Over time in long relationships, sex may be divorced from all feeling and become machinelike, especially when any emotional connection has waned. What if she had told me she loved her body? They are pure until they aren't. Transgression of superego standards leads to guilt feelings as well as to a sense of remorse, anger directed at oneself, and a loss of self-esteem. A lot of guys expressed that they feel this way some years later, so maybe it comes with age, and when you're a college bro you have no sense of self-awareness or common decency, and this is all bullshit that doesn't apply. They may occur in dreams or fantasies as well. What if they had told me I was like a book, and every experience adds a valuable chapter of lessons and knowledge to my life? You put your tongue in that bum, you earned it. I think it's possible to convey our personal and religious beliefs without the shame and embarrassment. Out of the Shadows: Would I have still felt like all I had to offer my future husband was my untarnished body?
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